How to use your Whole Brain

We only use 10% of our brain. It is an insurmountable waste of potential and space. After you read this article, you will know how to use your whole brain. 100% of it. Guaranteed or you get your money back.

1. Attempt to recall any biology course you have ever taken. My suggestion is high school biology. Perhaps even recall that you learned about various parts of the brain in said high school biology class. Many parts. You might recall words like lobe, cortex or amygdala. If not, don’t worry. We’ll get through this.
2. If the attempt fails or succeeds, reflect on the fact that you have indeed been shown scientific evidence, as we know it currently, that human beings have ‘mapped’ out the brain.
3. If you begin to panic, remind yourself we are not talking about the mind; the philosophical, egoic mind or the soul. We are also not talking about consciousness and the distinction between our physiological make up and that which we refer to as conscious awareness. This is related solely to physiology. The stuff in your skull. The actual, goopy, bumpy shit in your head.
4. If you continue to panic, please visit the Existential Crisis FAQ. Know that I support you.
5. Ponder this. If we only used 10% of our brain, wouldn’t 90% (approximately) of traumatic brain injuries be…insignificant? If we had 90% empty space, 90% of the slam-to-the-head injuries wouldn’t have any negative impact. But magically, they do. People actually take head injuries fairly seriously, as far as I know. If you get hit in the head with something bigger than an apple, it will likely harm you.
6. You can get a concussion from being hit in the face. Isn’t that weird? No. No it’s not. Because your face bone is connected to your head bone. Inside your head is your brain. Ergo, your face is over top of your brain.
7. Neuroscience (what’s happening up there), neuroplasticity (what can change up there) and neurodevelopment (where’d that shit come from anyway) are areas of enormous research. There are scientists all over the world working to gain a greater understanding of the human brain and its complexity. If we only used 10% of that organ, we would be wasting a lot of people’s time and money. It would be a more useless organ system than the spleen (which is actually an important organ but perhaps not more important than a 10% brain). We don’t have spleen research facilities worldwide and mass breakthroughs in spleen-plasticity. Because brains.
8. This next step is amazing. You just found out you’re 90% smarter than you thought you were. Congratulations!
9. The next phase of utilizing your entire brain is breaking through the paradigm that you’ve only been using 10% of it. A belief is malleable. A paradigm is a belief that has so much strength that it has embedded itself deeply into society and our ancestry. It is not easy to simply shift a belief of that magnitude; if you’re feeling anxious, take a deep breath and know that my next and final step will cure you. You’re so smart. You can get through this.
10. Remember you don’t have to believe me. That’s ok. You still have Wikipedia and you have the tremendous intellect to walk away if this becomes distressing.

Allow the information to absorb slowly through 100% of your perfectly awesome brain. I did guarantee that this would allow you to utilize 100% of your brain, however, if it has not, it likely means you are one of the rare few that wasn’t even using the first 10% you thought you had. It’s ok. You do you.