Permanent Contraception. Empowered Life

Ten kids. That’s how many kids I wanted when I was young. Ten! Anyone who knew me growing up knew this about me. How funny life changes once one reaches puberty and experiences periods, cramps, bloating and contraceptive issues! This is my story of how permanent contraception gave me an empowered life.

Life Plans

I went from having plans to be married, and birthing my ten children, by the age of 25 to being a dog mom at 35!

Reality has proven that life isn’t predictable. And I’m quite grateful for that. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without all of the life experiences I’ve had thus far. I was diagnosed with a mental illness as a young, vulnerable adolescent and coped as best I could as a young adult.

I had ups and downs in both work and school, experienced life-altering trauma and had heartbreaks. Traveling, first loves and challenges came and went. I arrived at a peaceful place with religion, only to dismiss it completely and began living larger than ever before because of it. Everything, every moment, has shaped the woman I am today.

Contraception Questions

Two years ago, I was talking with my doctor about contraception. For me, no hormones were important because there is a history of breast cancer in my immediate family (my mom and grandma are tough cookies!!). Given the circumstances, a copper IUD (intrauterine device) was the safest form of birth control for me.

During this time, it really hit me that adulting is bloody hard! The decisions about my body, as important and personal as they were, created a feeling of needing validation. They were incredibly important decisions. Adulting!

Deceptive Contraceptive

I asked friends and coworkers if they thought this was the best option, what it was like and would it work for MY body. I needed that external approval, for some reason. That validation. Perhaps I was protecting myself. I wanted some sort of “yes Tiffany this is the answer for you” so that I could avoid any self-blame for making a ‘bad’ choice.

I tried it out; the copper IUD. It is a great form of contraception for many people; for me it wasn’t a positive outcome. The IUD is meant to stay in the body for approximately ten years. After two years, it lodged into my uterus muscle lining and eventually perforated. The small puncture caused bleeding and pain.

Empowered Dog

As I mentioned, I am a dog mom. My dog has keen intuition, I believe. On the day I purchased the IUD, my furry friend Bella decided to leave me a subtle message that she did not approve of this device for her Mama. Maybe she knew ahead of time that it would be a somewhat unpleasant experience for me. Have you ever walked into your gynecologists office and said “my dog ate my IUD package” as you hand over a chewed up IUD box?” It was pretty special. Luckily little Bella was not harmed, however it made me chuckle to think about how, perhaps, she knew the outcome at that time. Her subtle message was a bit too subtle for me; next time I will take her advice.

In early 2019, I had the IUD removed and was reconsidering contraception alternatives. Again, I became frustrated with the difficulty of adulting. Ugh. Adulting!!

Life. What do I Really WANT?

I am single. The mother of a wonderful 4-legged canine (my intuitive little Bella). I am not in a dedicated relationship. I love the freedom of creating my own lifestyle and making my own decisions. My own decisions…that hit me.

The discussion I had with my gynecologist the day my IUD was removed was an important one for many reasons, including the fact that I became aware of what I wanted for my life regarding family planning, children and my body. At 32 years old, the idea of permanent contraception was a no-go option when I had discussed it with my physician. To be honest, I felt overwhelmed with life at that point and knew I didn’t want kids THEN. It was an easier decision for me than starting contraception.

At 35 years old when I inquired nervously about permanent contraception, my gynecologist didn’t even hesitate to agree and laid out options for me. THIS! This was great news!

Child-Free Living

I put a lot of thought into babies and a parent life between the time I first met my gynecologist at 32, and 35 years of age. For me, babies aren’t in my picture. I am very focused on helping myself live a life that’s authentic to me and my wants and needs. I’m in love with being a dog mom! I couldn’t be happier with a living being that doesn’t talk back and I can leave for a few hours knowing she’s ok without my 24/7 supervision. I love having relationships and deciding what my stance is in them. I love having the ability to make a decision in my life for my body that includes my own mental and physical well-being.

I had three options given to me: clips on my Fallopian tubes (that is semi-permanent with the clips being removable if I should decide to have a baby), a Hysterectomy (the removal of the entire package; uterus and all), or a Salpingectomy (removal of the Fallopian tubes).

Permanent Contraception

After learning that a Salpingectomy is not only permanent, but also reduces the risk of ovarian cancer, I was sold. I didn’t hesitate to opt for my surgery: bilateral laparoscopic Salpingectomy. A fancy medical term for having both Fallopian tubes removed through three small incisions in my tummy.

June 28th, 2019, my dream became a reality. Was I nervous? Absolutely! Mostly about the surgery and anesthetic side effects than having made a regretful decision for myself and my future.

There is still a chance of getting pregnant although it would be through IVF. But I know for me, this is one of the most empowering and bravest decisions I’ve made.

Empowered Woman

As women, we are set up in a society where there is a somewhat predictable course of action: grow up, graduate, go to college/university, meet your life partner, marry, have babies/give your parents grandbabies and eternal happiness ensues.

Also Snapchat. That happens too.

That’s garbage to me. That’s not realistic! Except the Snapchat part.

My life has taken me places and taught me lessons that have given me strength and wisdom beyond what any education or partner could ever teach me. I am grateful for these experiences. I am grateful for opportunities to challenge society. And I am grateful to share my story(s) with others to help enlighten the world. I have a feeling that many women opt for permanent contraception but feel guilty or ashamed to talk about it. Or even decide against it, thinking it’s too radical.

My Body, My Choice

Why is it so taboo? Some women have babies. Some women don’t. Why can’t it be that simple and without judgement?

I am almost 2 months post-surgery and I feel on top of the world!

My voice was heard.

My decision was respected. 

I am grateful. I am empowered.

My body is mine and with professional medical judgment, mine to decide what I want to do with.

Society can judge, have opinions and/or curse spells on me for not having babies, but I am so proud of myself and wish to spread the message that permanent contraception is OK!