The Key to New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are traditional and can be traced back in our history to Babylonia. From the very inception during the ancient times, New Year’s resolutions have been about exploiting a thinly-veiled myth of self-improvement by convincing people to prioritize three things; exercise, weight loss and money.

Resolutions in our history

The first New Year’s resolutions were made during planting season. People promised gods and one another that they would work harder and pay off their debts. This was the beginning of consumerism being disguised as one of the many costumes it wears today. Be better, make more money and work harder. The cycle continues each and every year; the rise and prize of capital gain takes flight.

How do we keep to tradition and make healthy resolutions without a layer of consumerism and inadequacy? Sometimes resolutions are a great stepping stone to a healthier lifestyle. In order to find a sustainable outcome, I think we need to dive into what resolution means and how we can reshape the top 3 most popular, and most failed resolutions.

Resolutions that fail us

The myth: “The system is not broken. You are.“

Capitalism is rampant in every New Year’s resolution and yet somehow, we’ve all become accustomed to blaming ourselves, identifying areas we are inadequate and make promises of resolving these inadequacies. To resolve insinuates to fix. To repair. If you believe you weigh too much, perhaps it’s because healthy food is expensive af and is basically considered a luxury. If you owe more money than you have, perhaps it’s because the cost of living has shifted so dramatically over the past four decades that students are in debt before they have even graduated.

There is definitely a benefit to introspection, challenging yourself and self-evaluating. These can all come from a place of caring instead of repairing. Accept the goodness in you NOW and continuing caring for yourself.

Caring for repairing

The New Year is a major event to capitalize on; most holidays are. They each carry their own allure of consumer products. Slogans that feed off of the inadequacies that we feel are problematic because we are destined to fail. Not because we won’t improve, get better, change our lives or walk a healthy path. It is because the first step we take is from the lens of ‘you’re not enough’. That is where the problem is.

Perhaps some of the resolutions we’ve made over the years have been a by-product of self-blame. I did this, I did that, I can’t do this, I do not have that. Alternatively, they may have been made in blame. Someone else did this or that. Today, this year, this moment, let’s pretend it is not anyone’s fault. Use caring for repairing; inside and out.

Dissolving Resolving – approach your resolutions differently

Try these on for size:

Your resolutions can be redefined and utilized in the same way without creating an inadequacy Go Fund Me account that your mind donates criticism and bullshit to. An enhancement is exciting! A resolution to fix something is scary and annoying. If I believe a part of me is broken, I will never fix that perceived brokenness through any amount of resolution. It is fixed through the realization that there is nothing to be fixed. Your New Year’s Enhancements are just that. Enhancements! There is nothing to fix and lots of space for ideas that lead to a more fulfilling life.

The Resolution cycle of capitalism

Some campaigns promote a cycle of capitalism that we cannot get out of. We all need more money. Then we spend more money because in order to make more money, we obviously need to get into really good shape. Then once we hit the treadmill regularly with all our new workout gear, we will have lost weight and are working harder to make more money which we already spent on workout gear and social treadmilling.

You’re now broke and tired, but you’re working harder. Because more money. For treadmills and dieting.

Epic fail. Watch for these traps. Notice what is self-care and what is marketing. I’m a huge advocate for exercise and maintaining health on every level. Many programs and facilities offer a great starting point for a significant lifestyle change. But it has to fit your life.

Wild Card Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions can be beneficial and sustainable if they are resolutions that can be practiced, are fluctuating and flexible, and truly bring joy to your life. They have to be practiced to be sustainable; new lifestyle choices take time and perseverance. Fluctuation in your life will require you to be flexible with your lifestyle enhancements. Find a flow and take your time. Finally, a resolution has to be perceived as something you look forward to. An enhancement. We work hard at what excites us. We avoid what we hate. It’s human nature. Make your enhancement plan according to how the brain works. Because science.

How long does a resolution last? I assume it expires after one year since this is an annual thing. Can we admit this system is a set up for failure? Not only are resolutions based upon inadequacy, but they expire and then we have to identify our insecurities and issues all over again to make a new resolution. Like fuck. This is why the KEY to a sustainable resolution is excitement. Happiness. An upgrade.

Resolution for your evolution

We are at a point in our society where capitalism is harming all of us. We’re not planting seeds anymore so that we can have a prosperous year. The reason mindfulness and self-care are such important and fast-growing trends in our society is because we’ve reached a breaking point. Our planet, our bodies, our economy, the distance between wealth and poverty; it has all reached a breaking point.

We have to let go of the days where society used weakness, fear and deprecation to motivate. It does not work. It’s time to turn things around and start feeling good about ourselves and good about taking care of ourselves. We can feel good and still make New Year’s Enhancements. We can celebrate our positives and create new opportunities. Let’s drop the ‘I need, I lack, I want’ and replace it with ‘I care, I notice, I am enough just like this’.

Enhancement Planning

Instead of looking at New Years as an opportunity to resolve, look at it from the opportunity to enhance. Enhancing your life means adding to what is already there.

Just because your life is not perfect, you’re struggling with money or weight or health or Disney+, you can find ways to enhance well-being without telling yourself a story about lacking. Know that we ALL struggle with these things (especially Disney+). That’s the big difference between a resolution (fix) and an enhancement (upgrade). You can upgrade your life more often than Adobe if you’d like. Upgrade yourself by accepting that nothing is lacking.

Go smaller

Find small, happy moments. Sip your first cup of coffee or tea or favourite beverage very slowly each day. Walk outside. Read a book. Take care of your well-being. Spend a little bit more time in the bathtub. Hug your kid or pet at least once a day. Let someone hug you.

Imagine if you picked one of these as your ‘resolution’. Wouldn’t that feel better than ‘make more money’? You can still work toward that, however, don’t make it a resolution because it will only serve as a focal point for your critical mind in moments when you perceive you are lacking. Know your mind and be true to what it is. The egoic mind knows how to get you and New Year’s resolutions are the ego’s playground.

Embrace imperfection

You can always set goals, learn more and do more. Those opportunities never go away as long as you stay motivated and moving forwards. We can let go of resolutions such as the top 3 because a black and white approach to change does not work. Take good care of yourself and that includes your mind. Don’t set your mind up for failure. It needs Big You!

This year on New Year’s eve, I challenge you to embrace the imperfection of humanity. Let go of the old story of ‘being’ anything different next year. Don’t hold a black and white, fixer -upper plan over your head. You’re not in need of renos. Be you. Enhance your life by adding to it and acknowledging what you’re grateful for NOW.

Be like Adobe

When we use the term resolve and decide to make New Year’s resolutions, perhaps we can be curious about why we’ve chosen that particular path or pattern. Is it from a place of lack or a place of self-improvement? Or happiness? Or fun?! Yes, fun is allowed. You are not required to fix anything; your past, your thoughts, your habits and demons are perfectly imperfect. We all have them. Gently do the deep work and allow change to happen slowly. Make New Year’s Enhancements that you’re excited about getting into so that you will be successful.

Be like Adobe. Update if possible but not because you have to. Because you want to. And you have the time and space to do it.

Even if you press the X in the corner and don’t update Adobe, your computer will be just as outstanding and function perfectly. Just like you.