Single Mother by Choice. A Guide to Invasive Questions.

Becoming a parent meant facing a lot of difficult questions, most of which I chose to answer in a succinct, impersonal manner. The question ‘why’ is more complex, layered and emotional than most realize. Here are a few questions I’ve received and my most sarcastic, flippant responses possible. Single Mother by Choice. A Guide to Invasive Questions

“You know…there are easier, cheaper ways of getting knocked up than artificial insemination…”

 Yes, I’ve heard of those fast, fun and free methods. It’s just that I wanted a baby and not Gonorrhea.

“Why don’t you just get a husband?”

I specifically asked for a baby. Not a husband. If I had received a husband, I would have asked for my money back.

“Why would you want to become a single parent? That’s horrific”

You’re horrific. Also, I became a parent. At the time I was single. I have not been single forever, nor do I intend to be. I chose to be a parent when the time was right in my life. You should consider that before you reproduce yourself.

“You can’t handle being a single parent. It’s already so difficult with two people”

Thank you for your opinion. I can and I will. It’s your judgment I can’t handle.

“Who’s the father?”

I am. I’m the mother and the father.

“How are you going to tell your child that they have no daddy?”

Just like that. You nailed it.

“This and this and this are wrong with your life and character. You can’t do this”

I can do this although I do wish I was as perfect as you.

“But the nuclear family…”

But evolution and change.

“Well…that’s brave…” (In a sarcastic, you’re about to die, kind of voice)

Thanks! I’m excited!

“You will feel lonely”

Most people in relationships feel that too. It’s called an emotion.

“Children will bring unimaginable stress into your life”

Thanks. I read that in a book I think. They also bring an unimaginable amount of love.

“But, why are you single?”

This is the most intrusive, variable, difficult question to answer because it insinuates you appear ‘normal’, so why aren’t you with someone. What is wrong with you?

I will give three options and have used them all.

1. I am single now but ready to be a parent. Simple as that. I do not want to force myself into an unhealthy relationship due to my biological clock. I prefer to wait for love.
2. I can’t believe you’re NOT single. That’s where I’m confused.
3. Hold on, I wrote it down on a piece of paper that’s in my pocket.
   *reach into pocket, pull out middle finger, walk away*.