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Yoga for Hockey – Supporting my Dad’s Delusions

Posted on February 28, 2023May 3, 2023 by Translate Reality

Hockey. Yoga. A perfect partnership. I am thrilled to have my Dad share his first experience with Yoga and even more thrilled to have been a part of it! Our amazing Guest of Author proves that these two activities are a perfect union. Yoga for Hockey – Supporting my Dad’s Delusions.

“My first yoga sessions…please help me survive!

As a 65 year old geezer who is still busy in the working world, I continue to hang on to the delusion that I can do everything I did 30 years ago. I just need a bit of extra time to devote to improving my skill set…then I could actually hit the big(ger) leagues. This encompasses; golf, playing guitar, and the biggest draw of all…playing hockey with “the boys”.

Led by our incredibly passionate organizer/coach Pino, we have been playing in the same decrepit City of Winnipeg rink, in the same time slot on Saturday mornings (it used to be twice a week, but we lost the mid week ice time because of demand), for more than 30 years. Faces have come and gone, but quite a few of the guys ended up “greying” playing hockey together for more than three decades. Nice mixture of talent, a bit of conditioning, and in the case of guys like me, determination to keep scooting around and scoring the occasional unexpected goal while being blessed with hands of stone that seem to squander every scoring opportunity that befalls them.

In an annual ritual as summer wears down, Pino sends out texts reminding us of the upcoming commitment…”hey boys…puck drops in two weeks…”. Some of the guys will have played summer hockey, so this is just a seasonal transition, but for most, there is this sense of excitement and, as with me, a bit of panic…holy #$%@ I can’t hit the ice like this…I’ll die. So, I impulsively renew my gym membership, hit the elliptical a few times, pump some iron, and pretend I’m quickly getting into “game shape”. That’s the time when I am the most delusional.

We start the season, and like every year, my entire body feels like shit after the game…lower back, groins, hams, quads, everything… Beer and hot tub soak help only to a certain extent. I feel like that for days…almost till the next outing. I end up missing games because of my travel schedule. The boys come down hard on me…you’re just dogging it out there. I push myself…minor but persistent injuries start to accumulate…once again, not looking good for a fifty goal season.

This year I decided to focus on something for which I have a basic revulsion…stretching. For me, stretching was always something you do as quickly as possible when you hit the ice so you could get to taking shots on net and skating around with the puck before you get immersed in hacking and whacking your body and stick with the lads. As part of the delusional system, I feel that if I do this for a minute or so, I can prevent most of those tweaks and twinges…or even worse…nasty groin or hamstring pulls that keep you out for while.

So, mostly out of desperation, I sought help from my daughter Nadia, a yoga teacher (I didn’t actually know what yoga was, only that it has something do to with gluten intolerance) to show me a routine of stretching that might be a bit more structured. Perhaps then, I might become completely impervious to injury. I had seen her do these weird body contortions, so I figured she could show me a few extra stretches to do…say going from one minute to 4 or 5 minutes.

I came over to her place on Saturday morning before the first game of the year. I was looking forward to seeing my darling two year old granddaughter who, unlike me, seemed to already know what “downward dog” was. She started a gentle but demanding routine that focused on breathing and core. My breathing was pretty much panting as I struggled with more and more contortions with muscles I had forgotten even existed. I was sweating as much as I do on the ice. I had this fear that I would bend something irreversibly out of shape, and that would end my hockey career and possibly other stuff.

After 45 minutes, I headed out the door because I was already late for the warmup. Halfway driving to the rink, I felt a sense of release in my entire body. It felt light and unconstrained. I greeted the lads for the first time in the season and when I got on the ice, I did the usual “hockey stretches”, which seemed easier and more natural. I played my usual passionate but lacking in talent game and actually set up some nice plays, although I missed one or two wide open nets. This simply brought an uncomfortable silence from the bench.

I was completely shocked after the game that my body did not feel the typical everything is stiff and sore feeling. In fact, it felt pretty good and I could now feel completely delusional about my game and how it will progress this season.

I have done this a couple of times now…outcome has been the same. Maybe there is something to this yoga stuff…I’ll post again in April.”

Constructive Comments from Nadia

I am truly grateful that my Dad shared his experience and I’m able to help him stay safe during his pro hockey career. We have so much fun during our weekly Saturday morning yoga classes. Him, my daughter, the dog and I. What a great class! And it comes with coffee. I always look forward to hearing about how his game went after yoga and how close we are to the big leagues.
 
I would also like to share that the reason he began questioning his ‘stretching’ at all was because I was fortunate enough to witness it one day. I explained, gently, that not only did he look like Shrek in a lunge but every ‘stretch’ he was doing was a set up for injury. I was scared. Legitimately scared. If anything, it wasn’t hockey that was dangerous; it was the horrific, ten second ‘stretch’ (he said one minute – gross exaggeration) he did before hitting the ice.
 
My Dad has been a great athlete for his entire life and he seemed to approach stretching with the same intensity as his slap shot. His inhale stopped at his throat. He took 987 breaths per minute. When I said ‘gently pull your leg in’, I could almost hear the muscles shredding as he shook and sweat with total Neanderthal aggression.
 
Since those first examples of his ‘stretching’, it has been a really amazing journey to do Yoga with him. He’s probably my favourite student, but I suppose I am bias. There is no better feeling than helping someone who has helped you for your whole life. Plus, Shrek needed a coach or his next delusion would have been ‘I didn’t need that ACL anyway’.
 
For the record, we never did downward dog. In no way was he ready for that. We will ask for an update in his April article.
 
Namaste Dad.
 
 
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John
Smith
johnsmith@example.com

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